PARIS ANYONE ? I seem to have a very bad habit of getting in everybodys way.

So as i sit here defeated, with my head propped up on my knees (slightly surprised in my ripe age of 23 i can still kinda bend them up to my chin without a serious amount of discomfort) slightly in a daze of annoyance that i cant find my sketch book, where i would normally vent out anything if the mood strikes me (haven't seen it since a couple of days before Christmas when mummy decided to randomly move my room around for no reason (i've been busy since and poor old sketch book having done nothing to deserve the ill treatment is currently lost and alone somewhere in this very present filled room, thankyou again fat man aka santa)
So about an hour ago i got in a venting mood.... not because im particularly upset, in that case id normally go to my personal blog which i only ever vent in, if i looked back on it, its six years of crying and shouting about how unfair everything is, if i found even one post about a happy occasion, even id be surprised. Anyways, im not in a happy or sad mood i guess, a thoughtful one i suppose you could call it.

You see a major family event happened today, one ive been excited about for a few weeks now, however i guess it wasn't as happy for me as it was for every one else, for a couple of reasons, reason numero uno: im two weeks older than the girl wearing the fat handcrafted diamond ring and yet the average 14 ear old is closer to a proposal than i am, mainly because i dont want one right now, but thats besides the point. reason two: i wasn't actually informed of the occasion, i know i knew, but unlike my brothers i wasnt actually spoken to or acknowledged, this might not seem like a major offense, but tbh its actually what im most annoyed about.... i grew up in a house of nine, it was always separated into threes, the three big ones, ie me and two older brothers, the three boys, and the three little ones.... yet the oldest boy decided my two other brothers were deemed suitable enough to discuss his upcoming big plans with but....im not. which kinda brings me to my final reason, which is in two parts.
im unintentionally always getting in the way of things, to the point i annoy every human in my presence,
and im (not a black sheep) but misplaced... if thats even a thing.
like i dont belong or something.

i know thats a very 13 year old girl thing to think, but its how ive felt quite alot of my life.
like im not doing what im meant to be doing except.... i dont know what im meant to be doing.
Which is why i cant understand why everyone else seems to either know what theyre doing or be content not knowing what theyre doing !
I am normally the laid back one who has no bother with life, some thing you cant change, and of course ive always believed the grass looks greener on the other side, like myself im sure everyone has thoughts and demons and insecurities or whatever, but good god, how can they be like me and live how theyre living, how on earth can they all make it look so easy, i doubt i look like my grass is at all greener to any body nearby.

So thats kinda my vent (the pc version anyways) that wouldve been written, scribbled and drawn out in my sketch book, had i found the poor old thing. And at this point id be lighting up and be drifting off to other scribbles and thoughts and eventually land on contentment, a sore hand and probably some form of motivation? or new idea?

In this case im kinda pondering about Paris (yes my mind does flip that easily, scary) bear with me and ill explain. Im thinking about christmas and how im in everyones way, and how everyones home and seeming so much far better off and well together in comparison, then im thinking about my life and how this year was meant to be the best ever full of new experiences, new jobs and sights and people and travel, then i think of these things. and how i could perhaps rectify even some of this year before staring off my final year of education no better than i was half a year ago. then i think travel , and then back t christmas and several of my christmas presents. now its no surprise about 99 percent of my presents were books, but a seemingly unintentional theme was paris.
Below you'll notice some of the inspirational, pretty paris things that arrived in colourful wrapping paper this winter solstice.

reoccurring theme anyone?

is it madness or does anyone else think one of my next trips should be paris?
After all its many folks dream city (not mine but its interesting enough)
Its not overly far, im sure it not exactly a two week trip, or an overly expensive one, infact its likely i wouldnt even need a travelling buddy (which are few and far between, especially with my serious problem with annoying other human beings)

It was a setting for at least two books ive read recently (but then again where isnt, ive read so much recently) either way.... i think paris wouldnt do any harm, maybe itll clear my head, its not like im going anywhere else any time soon y the looks of things.

So again.... Paris anyone?

I am haunted by humans - The Book Thief

Be it the amazing book or the decent-ish movie adaption, which I've literally just finished watching for the third time (seriously the creed it's are still rolling, as is my big baby tears) damn you book thief, no matter how many times I read the book or watch the movie, no matter how many times I say, 'c'mon now Claire you know the words you know the ending, you will not cry this time' it doesn't matter. Damn it!
This must be the titanic or the notebook to other people, I don't and have never cried at a movie, until this stupid movie. Granted I'd tear up at 'an American tail' but honestly if you don't tear up at little phone vial crying hitting gay and thinking he'll never find his family,then you sit are actually more heartless than me, and that's hard to do.

So needless to say I thouroughly enjoyed the book thief  ( even though I'm extremely awkward and tend to instantly hate everything that is well liked) however it was a complete coincidental find in a charity book shop AGES ago, I vaguely remember seeing the name mentioned on one of those morning talk shows while I was debating how important it was for me to attend class. It was a battered old 20p book and I have to say although I can never say I love a book as a ten out of ten (because I'm ruined harsh and indesisive like that) this book was a massive surprise that did (unfortunately) make me blubber like a baby (predictable ending or not) so honestly, this is a CERY very very close contender as my favourite book of all time and to be honest it's An extremely short list, and very close call.

I don't care if you're 8 or 80, this book should be read. And let's ace it, how many books these days can you say that about.
It's interesting, different and above all powerful.

If you want to read a slow book that you will literally tear through in less than a day, go for not, once you start you will not stop, put school, the kids even the job on hold, read this book! And love it like me and apparently a lot of other people did.

I think what's so enjoyable is, you don't expect it to be enjoyable. Now if you can find a beat up old copy in a candiru shop that cost less than a packet of space invaders, im you will enjoy it even more, if jot, sure go buy a shiny new copy that you can proudly show as your favourite book, however I guarantee the amount of times you read it, it will end up looking like me beloved copy.

Go forth and read ! It's worth it for definite

The 100. Season one -review

Recently I posted a book review on the 100 book series (so far) and although It wasn't normally my thing, since I loved the books, how could I not now go and watch the tv series.... Well I've just finished season one and it's time for a review.

What in earth/arc was that all about?! Ok to begin with the tv series has decided to change not just back stories but add a few more (unnescary) characters in, although they used a lot of 'the 100' books themes, this show was like watching an entirely different story. For starters they figure out they aren't alone literally in the first episode (if I can remember correctly) Bellamy is way older and a bit of a jerk, he's kind of Bellamy mixed with graham from the books. Clarke isn't a nursing apprentice oh no, she just wings it and probably got the general jist of things due to her mum being a doc, like seriously they didn't even question her knowledge or anything, she was just automatically the fix it girl.
Octavia isn't fourteen nor was she in care from a young age and no she didn't do well, anything she was meant to from the hook. Not even wear the damned ribbon. Even the arc is different. I mean, where's the sky bridge?! If I'd read the book when it was popular and watched the show when it originally came out, I can definitely see how if be annoyed. Granted I don't wanna sound like the Harry potter fans that complain they leave too kick out, I understand time limits and all that. I mean come on it had a moderate budget and only 13 episodes but seriously guys, a sky bridge would've been doable. Tbh it doesn't give off the classes impression the book does and it certainly doesn't have any of the back flashes or significant rooms on the arc.
Apparently the tv show 100 were less shocked at all earths glorious new things (like rain) and far more equity (supplies wise) than the book 100 ever were.

Ik not saying this show isn't worth the watch. Far from it, after this review I'm off to watch the incomplete (for now) second season. It's a good show, less teeny bopper than other recent book to tv shows, the secret circle for example. But if you're watching the tv show to relive the book on screen, Don't. You'll be really disappointed. However if you'd like a fan fiction version of the entire book, go, watch, it's a decent wee show, albeit short, but worth it.

Ps. The series tends to happily just kill of vital characters (not as bad as game of thrones)
Pps if the show has actually killed off my favorite two vital characters, i may not forgive them.